I am SO excited!! Luke and I are scheduled to head on our next adventure to Yosemite National Park. I have the plane tickets, hotels and car reservation and even am in final communications with the private backpack guides to take us on 5 days chock full of adventures, challenges and memories. I found it tough to make all the decisions for the trip due to the timing and the cost, but I figured it would be time with my son that I may not have very much again since he graduates from college this year and starts in the workforce.
Then….Coronavirus hit. NOOO!!! What a hard decision it was to cancel our trip. Yes it was hard, but a decision had to be made. I made it, but I didn’t like it.
Using the skill of decisiveness is not only used in the workplace and when you are working with those you have the opportunity to lead. It is used in all aspects of your life. I read an article in Harvard Business Review called “The Elements of Good Judgment”. The author, Sir Andrew Likierman, defined decisiveness as “good judgement”. I don’t see it that way. I see it as using the data that creates the judgement, but decisiveness is “pulling the trigger”. I know people that have good judgment both at work and at home, but they still have an insecurity or fear where they can’t make the final decision on what to do; what they know is the best decision.
Not sure if you remember my blog I wrote about Luke and my trip to the Pinnacles near Big Bear Lake, CA. The blog, “Feedback: Something, Anything…But Do Something”, was about doing something with the feedback we receive. Here is a piece from it that I think is fitting to reflect on again.
When my son was younger, he would follow my feedback to the "T"...most of the time. As my son has grown older, he has begun to make his own decisions. I found it really interesting as we bouldered at the Pinnacles, just north of Big Bear Lake, CA, that he began to really determine his own paths even when I would tell him, "I think this way is easier," or "This way is faster." He had begun to find his own way. Sometimes he would take a step or two, then heed to my feedback and end up following me. But as the day went on, we learned to listen to each other more with each climb. Trust began to develop between us, even in our climbing. That trust helped me to learn that I didn't have to be the leader all the time. Actually, I found it rewarding to see Luke taking risks in front of me and then to see him get the reward first when he reached the top and saw the view. The smile on his face was totally worth me being the follower for that climb.
As I reflect back on that time, I have to say that sometimes I wished that Luke would have listened and followed my feedback to the "T" like he used to, but I realized that it was a good character trait that, at least, HE DID SOMETHING.
Back then, Luke was working out his skill of being decisive; about weighing his decision on the information he was provided, his own experience and his own intuition (using his judgement) and then making the call. Being decisive is a trait that I thought most leaders have, but I have come to the conclusion that this is not the truth and especially when outside influences, risk, or stress are added to the situation.
I recently read an article called “Four Ways To Make God-pleasing Decisions Under Stress”, by Elizabeth Moyer where she discussed how stress, specifically, can reduce our judgement and also force us to be decisive prematurely by “distorting our reality, hastening our decision, amplifying our foolishness or paralyzing us.”. I think each of us deals with stress differently, but to still be a decisive leader in times of stress we need to be self-aware so that we take it into account.
“You don’t change the world by looking at it.
You change it by the way you live in it.
Look up...the sky lies open.”
It has been really inspiring to see Luke being more and more decisive as he decided on a rigorous engineering college to go to, picking one of the hardest majors there and excelling , seeing opportunity to lead 50 people in an aerospace club and taking the lead and now making new decisions on what he is going to do for work after college. I am sure he has been indecisive at times, but I think if you put yourself out there, challenge yourself as a leader, to give you more opportunities to make bigger decisions then you WILL become more comfortable making decisions in any environment.
My challenge to you this week or month is to reflect on how decisive you think you are. You may think you are very decisive, but ask others that you respect to see what they think. Gain feedback and make adjustments. If the feedback you receive from yourself and others is that this may be a challenging area then ask yourself, “How can I put myself in a position that I have to make more decisions? What am I passionate about so much that it will not only inspire me as a leader, but will grow my decisiveness skill at the same time?”. Go for it! Take on the challenge and begin to FLY…
